The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
