break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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