why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
