k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
