JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
