My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
