I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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