Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
