life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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