And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
