My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
