how can u be prego again
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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