My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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