Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
