I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
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Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
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Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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