one two three fourrrrnication!
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
