my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
