i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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