Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
you had me at cake vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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