you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
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