Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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