Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize