This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
