I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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