butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
