mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize