Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
