I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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