You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
