respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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