you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
