Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize