Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
