Sponge bath it is.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
