just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
