420 ftw
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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