he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
