Pants 0. Shit 1.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize