i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
