It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
