p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
