Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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