I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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