I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
