Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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