What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
