Just fell off a train. Bad.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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