why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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