i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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