Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We don't watch enough power rangers
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
