It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
