whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He passed out mid-signature
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
