I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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