Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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