508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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