Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
