Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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