apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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