VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My vagina is officially offended.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
