also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
