Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize