Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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