Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
