OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Say something about gay babies.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize