I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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