I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
