i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
