Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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