and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
