My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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