Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
