So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
