also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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