i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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