her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
