I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
