U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
