This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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